Ignorance Unveiled

I reflect on the difficulty it is to express in words

How I felt, how I feel, how I think about this course

Confusion.

Discomfort.

Reconsideration.

Reflection.

Hope.

Am I really a racist?

Am I considerate of others?

Does my white privilege get in the way?

Am I working towards understanding my own ignorance

Or do I simply just stay unchanged?

My beliefs, my virtues, my thoughts

should never detract from the worth of a soul

Yet how would I achieve equity in a classroom

when that same worth is being questioned on multiple faces.

The act of opening one's eyes to the problems requires sacrifice:

Of pride, of ignorance.

Requires an action but not just any act

Yes, an act of rebellion to unjust social norms

How to show acceptance?

How to focus on the "one"?

My students must become my objective.

My students are my objective.

Their comfort is my comfort

Their progress is my progress

Their personal culture has been learned, experienced.

Has it become my experience? Have I learned?

I fear the difficulty this task will require

How to change a system in place?

Where to start?

Yet I hope for change.

I can change.

I can start.

The teacher has influence.

I have influence.

I cannot afford to be ignorant. No deficits.

I must learn to acknowledge what is hidden to many.

I become a model.

I become aware.

I include.

I inform.

Re-Imagined Classroom

This is the type of picture that would be seen on the wall. Encouraging an environment of learning, the students would understand that there is opportunity in each day to learn when desire and effort are put forth. (Image taken from http://www.reallygoodstuff.com/inspire-u-poster-make-today-the-day-to/p/702590/)







This image would not only be present to help LGBTQ students and parents understand they are welcome and that they are safe in my classroom, but extends further on to all of my students. I want my students to feel free in being who they are. This is also a reminder to me to be selective with my vocabulary so as not to offend and to be accepting. (https://www.redbubble.com/shop/safe+space+stickers)





As is mentioned later on, students in my classroom will be grouped in fours to encourage group discussion. The intent is to provide greater accessibility to all areas of the classroom and to encourage group discussions. Students will work on projects with their groups and will have the opportunity to switch groups and interact with all students in the class. (Image retrieved from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Elementary_classroom_in_Alaska.jpg)

This would be similar to the reading center I would like to create in my classroom. This reading corner would be creative, colorful and learning enriching. I will have a great variety of books that are expressive of different cultures, races, religions, genders, etc. To encourage reading and literacy, students would be given time each day to spend in the reading center. (Image retrieved from https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS593US593&biw=1366&bih)

As my focus is Math, students will be able to understand that Math is more than a problem on a worksheet, but that it is seen all around us. This picture shows the application of Math and would help children understand how to search out Math in their day-to-day lives. The images also provide assistance to my Second Language Learners as they can visualize application(Image retrieved from http://330207677764321891.weebly.com/class-photos.html#PhotoSwipe1375268085863)






1) Imagine the surrounding in your classroom. What does the room look like? What resources are available for students? How are the resources used during the lesson?

• Pulling open the door to the classroom, the individual's attention is first drawn to the desk alignment. With space to carefully move around, the desks are grouped in fours with the desks facing inwards. 6 clusters of desks are seen throughout the room, allowing for group work and discussions. Walking closer, name tags the colors of red, yellow, and blue have been carefully taped to align perfectly with the top edge of the desk. Along the back wall are cubbies for the students to store their school supplies. A hook for a backpack has been carefully placed in the center and directly above this and there is a shelf at a height that is easily accessible for all students. This shelf is for the storing of the student's class workbooks along with projects that they have begun. The workbooks are used daily as we examine the principles of math, reading, writing, and science. Assignments can be removed from the workbook and taken home to work on. The wall opposite the door has been created into a reading center. Bean bags, chairs, and pillows lay on the floor waiting for the company of a student. This area is surrounded by a wide selection of books to meet the needs of advanced readers and beginning readers. These books vary in their type. Over the years, I have collected books from suggestions I have found on the website www.socialjusticebooks.org. Understanding the great diversity of students in my classroom and the importance of literacy, I have carefully selected these books! The books have been worn down over the years of students going to the reading center during their "reading time" or when they have finished their in-class worksheets. Knowing that some students may not have equal access to forms of literacy, students can check-out books from our class library to read in their homes.  Opposite the wall of the reading center is my desk.  Understanding that I want my students to feel safe in the classroom as well as their families, I have a "Safe Space" sticker located on the wall behind my desk. 

2)Describe the students in your classroom. What are their backgrounds? What are their interests? What are they doing during the lesson?

• Students in my classroom are roughly 8-9 years old. Most of them enter in the classroom full of energy with the occasional student who grudgingly drags their backpack into the classroom, only because there exists a greater desire to sleep in. Teaching in the Utah area, a majority of the classroom comes from white American Mormon families. I have students from various backgrounds. Being that I am teaching in Utah, it may appear that a majority of the students come from white American LDS families. However, with a closer look at the students one can see that these students are so diverse. A further look into the lives of my students would reveal diverse family situations (divorce, step parents, homosexual parents, etc), religions, races, socioeconomic status, etc. Although there are moments of sass and attitude, most of the students are found reaching out to others and slow to act in bitterness towards classmates. Problem solving is evident and hands are always outstretched to include others because they have seen this modeled by me and other adults with whom the students interact in the class. At the age of 8, most students are developing the ability to think abstractly and it can be seen on their faces, heard in their questions, and evident in their imagination. This stage causes many to react in excitement when they understand the new principles or concepts that are being taught. Recess is a highlight. The students race towards the playground for games such as "Hot Lava", jump rope, tag, and kickball. Energy is expended at recess and tired bodies return to the classroom ready to pull out notebooks and try their best to focus as their minds start to wander, thinking of the snack Mom has waiting for them at home. 

3)Describe your classroom policies. What are your classroom rules? What is your discipline plan? What are your homework policies?

• More than only logical thinking, creative thinking is inspired. Posters hang on the wall encouraging exploration, learning, and diligence. It will be expected of students to complete the assigned worksheets that will be sent home with them. Worksheets will be given a grade for completion and will be reviewed in class so students can understand where they answered incorrectly and why. In situations of students acting up or defiantly disobeying, they will be given a warning privately.  I will approach the situation, explain what I am seeing and let them know the consequence if the action continues. If a student causes continual disruptions, an email will be sent home so that I may meet with the parent and student to discuss options of how to solve the situation. There is also a no tolerance policy for disrespect to one another in my classroom. In situations where students are bullying or being bullied by others, I will have a meeting with the child and the parent. If it is needed, we will talk to higher authority in the school district to right any wrongs that may have been done. I have stated my policies in the letter I sent home with students on the first week of school so that parents are aware of where I stand. I have let parents know my willingness to listen and expressed a desire for them to reach out to me, knowing that their children feel more comfortable talking about difficulties or problems they are facing with a guardian than a teacher. 

4) Describe a typical lesson you will teach in your classroom. What will you teach? What is the topic? Why did you choose this topic? How will you teach it? What is the main thing you want students to learn during this lesson?

• I would like to focus on Mathematics. Through personal experience, I have found a love for Math and desire to help others understand the concepts and daily application of the topic. I loved that through a process of methods, one could find an answer to a problem. This logical thinking gave me great satisfaction as I learned math over the years. I desire to now not only focus on teaching the methods of math, but also understanding why it works and why we learn it. Although my focus will be on 3rd grade, I will search for opportunities to help the older grades with Math as well. According to the Core Standard for 3rd grade math (www.uen.org), students are learning the different operations of multiplication/division as well as algebraic thinking. I want students to visualize what they are doing with multiplication so they can see it as more than just a fact they memorized, but something they can explain the process for. Simple addition and subtraction problems combined with story problems would be seen daily in my classroom. Supplies will be given to students and they will have the opportunity to do this visualization.  

5)Imagine your work as a teacher during this lesson. What are you doing during the lesson?

• Understanding that muscle memory comes with time, I begin the lesson with a warm-up problem on the board. A problem to review what we have learned in the previous class. Students are invited to discuss possibilities of the solution to the story problem or question that I have posed with the other students in their group. I walk around the classroom, listening in on conversations, pausing occasionally to ask students "Okay, so what are we thinking?". A general understanding of where the students are has been gauged and I return to the board. I open it up for students to share their answers and how they arrived at the point. I also give students the opportunity to question what they are hearing and to provide their thoughts. I pose another question that leads the students to ponder or question more advanced concepts. This provides the perfect segue into our new concept for the day. I walk around the room asking questions to help the students consider different options of solving a problem. I don't give the solution or method right away. My questions are given to probe at their understanding. More than giving a lecture, I am acting as a catalyst for their thought process of problem solving. Knowing that Mathematics is a language of its own, I look for and provide attention to students who are Second Language Learners. I have done researcher before in their language for some vocabulary that may help them understand more clearly.  After we have explored the concept, I give a general understanding and clarify any confusion. I lead the students into different forms of practice in hopes of leading them towards mastery and application.  

6)Imagine your students again, what are they doing during the lesson?

• Students are actively participating in the warm up. They feel confident in solving the problem because they have learned the concepts and methods in our previous class together. Since we are trying to solve multiplication problems, the students are using the resources in the classroom to help themselves understand.  They are drawn in my the story problems because their names are represented in the problems. The problems give them something concrete to hold onto. For example, students may be asked to find out how many sticky notes can fit on their desk. They will actively find this out. How would you represent this number as a multiplication number? They eagerly share their answers with others in their group and noise fills the air. Their confidence allows them to shoot their hands up to share their strategies in solving the story problem. Students have access to different objects to help them do direct modeling (creating a representation of the problem with counters). For today, students are using beans to help them with their multiplication problems. They are using beans for Partitive and Multiplicative Division. At times, their conversations about solving problems carry them into other topics, but they are able to refocus easily. 

7. Imagine how you will assess your students' learning and achievement. How will you know they have learned?

• As one of my objectives will be to help students master the concepts of mathematics, I will use group projects related to application of the concepts. More than a test or quiz, I would like the students to understand the daily application of what they are learning. Tests will be used to evaluate basic concepts; however, to analyze the process of learning/application, they will do group presentations of how the principle is evident in every day life. Students will show understanding of learning the concept (through worksheets and tests). Assessment will also occur as I walk around observing group work and interacting with my students. I understand that testing may be difficult for some students so I will also provide oral testing. Teachers aids can sit with students and read the test out loud with them. Application will then be applied as together they think of a real problem that can be solved. 

After having participated in Multicultural Education, I realized that the task of changing the dynamic of the classroom to make room for social justice is a daunting task. We are facing years of teaching patterns and attitudes that need to change. However, by going back through my imagined classroom and consciously looking for opportunities to make a difference for my students, I realized there is much that we can do. But, it must be a conscious effort. The changes I made were centered on helping all students feel welcome. Curriculum and literacy materials were altered. My perspective of my students changed. They are more than white American Mormons. There is more diversity than just race. I have decided to be more communicative with the parents of my students so they feel comfortable in approaching me if their child is facing difficulties in the classroom (whether this be with homework or issues of social justice).  I have realized through class discussions my need to not only focus on the comprehension of the class as a whole, but take time to help the individual student. However, I do not want my students to feel like they are deficits. This is something I will need to study further. How do I help the individual without making them feel like they are not as good as the rest of the class or that they are a problem. I will need to be willing to go above and beyond in my preparation to ensure that my students will have the resources they need to understand. Although I am not able to understand exactly how I will apply all the principles I have learned from this class into my future classroom, my eyes have been opened to accept the need for change and start with what I know. Encouraging my students to work harder is not good enough. I need to be aware of the structure of my class and what needs to change for my students to succeed. It's the structural ideology that I want to focus on!

Book Club

Throughout the book Between the World and Me, Ta-Nehisi Coates pulls on the heart as he brings to view problems that have faced society, that are currently facing society, and will continue to face society in connection to the oppression of minorities (in this case, black minorities). As I read this book, I tried not to take personal offense. Ta-Nehisi Coates is writing to his son of the reality of the world, hitting on every point of injustice and wrong white individuals have done to enslave and take ownership of the black body. I felt uncomfortable reading this book within the first couple of pages. I felt like a finger was being pointed at the white privileged Americans...and I couldn't respond, defend, or deny what was being said. It's hard to hear that the perfect Dream that you have always longed for is a sign of arrogance, your inability or lack of desire to understand what this Dream may mean to others. Hegemony is ever present as Coates helps us understand it is Dream with a capital "D". The American society has adopted these "big house with a white picket fence" ideas. It has become part of the american culture, so to speak. However, not everyone yearns for this Dream. Coates fears his son accepting this Dream and writes this book in an effort to bring things to light which cannot be brought about in any other way because people don't talk about it like they should.

"The writer...must be wary of every Dream and every nation, even his own nation. Perhaps his own nation more than any other, precisely because it was his own" (Coates, p. 53)

I was ashamed of my white privilege. I constantly found myself seeking for further understanding, almost questioning what Coates was saying. "Are you sure that's the case?" or "Am I that obvious? or "Are you exaggerating the situation because of your personal experiences?". The Dream blinds the eyes of those who are privileged. Even though I have this desire to understand more about how society is doing wrong, my own privilege impedes me from ever truly understanding as does Coates. Then the disruption came of whether I would be willing to sacrifice all my privileges to know. This is the white privilege we've taken possession of:

"They were utterly fearless. I did not understand it until I looked out on the street. That was where I saw white parents pushing double-wide strollers down gentrifying Harlem boulevards in T-shirts and jogging shorts. Or I saw them lost in conversation with each other, mother and father, while their sons commanded entire sidewalks with their tricycles. The galaxy belonged to them, and as terror was communicated to our children, I saw mastery communicated to theirs" (Coates, p. 89)

My own body cringed and was so disturbed every time he used the term "body". I have grown up hearing how my body is sacred, how I must take care of my body, etc. I couldn't quite put myself in the shoes of Malcom, or Prince Jones, or Michael Brown. Coates paints his own personal struggle with wanting to seize hold of his body but feeling it is constantly under the power of someone else. Or when he describes the aggression of parents taken out on their black children stating that it would be better that they were beat by their parents than letting someone else take their child's body. In my mind, I could have stated this as a stereotype of black individuals as just being more aggressive. This was a personal example of passive racism. I feel ashamed to have ever thought that. I'm embarrassed to even state that in this reflection. My mind immediately turned to begging for forgiveness. Not to some being on this earth, but to a more Supreme being. How many other stereotypes were still existent in my mind? I cannot express gratitude for principles I have learned through this book and this class. Though I am not perfect in my application, it is something I will continue to apply as I move into my years as a teacher.

It was interesting to look for parallels with things we have been discussing in class this semester. I've included some terms above, but there are two others I wanted to present. In his book, Coates shares an experience of walking around in the city and a woman shoved his son. Although on the surface it may not have seemed like an act of racism, there should be further examination. This is what we would call stealth racism.

"Had I informed this woman that when she pushed my son, she was acting according to a tradition that held black bodies as lesser, her response would likely have been, "I am not a racist." Or maybe not. But my experience in this world has been that the people who believe themselves to be white are obsessed with the politics of personal exoneration. And the word racist, to them, conjures, if not a tobacco-spitting oaf, then something just as fantastic--an orc, troll, or gorgon" (Coates, p. 97) 

Grit Ideology is evident as the greater gets to know the life of Dr. Mable Jones. We learn of her hard work and pure determination to be a doctor. With this ideology, we are taught that if you try a little harder, you will succeed. If you "put some dirt on it", then it won't seem so bad. All of her hard work and determination cannot, however, take away the pain and barrier that she faced with the death of her son, Prince Jones.

For the Future Classroom: 
I think of Ta-Nehisi Coates love for the Mecca as I respond to the changes I wish to make in my future classroom. I remember the story of the girl with dreads, who in loving care takes care of him when he had the major headache. Coates response to her care was simple:

"Love could be soft and understanding; that, soft or hard, love was an act of heroism" (Coates, p. 61)

 What truly made it so that Coates could feel so comfortable at Howard University? The open expression of self was every where. Students could be themselves without fear. Coates could be himself and love that part of himself. I want to create this environment of safety and comfort in the classroom. Coates didn't talk too much about his schooling in his book, but we can know it was lacking something as Coates was drawn so strongly to Howard University. After reading this book, I want to be more aware of what happens in the classroom. Just keeping an eye out for signs of racism is not enough. A teacher should look for opportunities to create equity in the classroom. Sometimes that may be a simple compliment or a statement of "Wow, I like how "so-and-so" did this assignment!". This reassurance can go far. Students will model much of what they learn in the classroom.

Coates also mentioned the lack of inclusion of the history of blacks in his childhood. "We were black, beyond the visible spectrum, beyond civilization. Our history was inferior because we were inferior, which is to say our bodies were inferior" (p. 43-4). I realized that I'm not exactly sure how, but I plan to include more of the correct truth of all aspects of history. We've talked about this as a class. How will I find out what my students should be learning? I'm not sure. Maybe it will be in me researching for extra hours to make sure I have correct information. I can bring in guest speakers of different cultures and races to educate my class. Speakers like Ta-Hehisi Coates. This seems like a daunting task. These are just some starting ideas for where I want to go!

Work Cited:

Coates, T. (2015) Between the World and Me. New York City, NY. Spiegel & Grau.

Community Resources Awareness

This week, I was able to wander around in the community and explore the resources that are available to women who have been affected by divorce, domestic violence or sexual assault. I was able to visit United Way of Utah County and the Outreach Center for Women and Children in Crisis. 

While visiting United Way of Utah County, I was able to converse with a secretary in the office. In our conversation, we went over the different resources that are available to single mothers or those who have been affected by domestic violence. After having discussed some resources available to women in the community, I brought up the question "So, are these resources well known to women in need? For example, if I were to be an individual suffering from domestic violence, how easy would it be for me to access these resources?". She began to explain 2-1-1, which is a program which United Way uses to branch out to those in need. Most of the outreach centers or clinics where women are attending are aware of the 2-1-1 program and can refer their patients to call and become aware of what is available. This is not just for women, but for others who are struggling to find resources to get along. 

https://appadvice.com/app/211-utah/1167593755

However, a disturbance began to develop with the next thing this secretary told me. Because of the high population here in Provo, United Way does not always have all the resources that women are in need of. Specifically, housing is a resource they are having difficulty providing for single mothers, or those who are recently divorced or affected by domestic violence. The question then came, "Why are all of these programs for women? Why do they not have these programs for men? Is it true then that women are more likely to suffer from domestic violence? Is it true that women are more likely to receive a lower starting wage?" Although I do not have statistics to back up these questions, I felt that by providing these resources for women was a sign that women are on a different level than men in society.  I have never felt oppressed as a women. I realized that maybe I was wrong or at least these programs for women were trying to teach me otherwise. These programs, United Way and The Women and Child in Crisis Center, are trying to provide more equality to women, allowing them to break through the position they may feel stuck in.

From this experience, I left pondering what I would need to do to help make these resources more known. Where is the awareness? As I walked into the United Way office to talk with one of the secretaries, I stated that I was there to learn more about the resources. After 5 mins, I realized there were many programs meant to help women who are struggling. Why had I never heard of the Women's Outreach Center in Orem? Why had I never heard of People Helping People, a program designed to help single mothers break through minimum wage and receive higher pay to support their families? Or Cars that Care, a program to help single mothers work towards getting their own vehicle? I have it pretty good. I am a white middle class woman who is just branching out into society through her college experiences. I had to search to find this information. It was not like I would have magically come across it. How then could this information be more readily available? What is my role in helping others now that I know? Can I help by donations? Can I help by making announcements through social media? How many women are not receiving the help they need because they do not know where to find it? What is at risk for these women? Will they stay in abusive relationships? Continue to receive less pay than they should? Continue to be oppressed?

I was only able to explore one of the branches of United Way. There are many other resources available? These resources may not be as known as well. The big question then is "What are we going to do to change that?". Honestly, I don't know. But I'm willing to learn!

Investigating Oppression

The Progression of Anti-Semitism:

Many would be able to associate the great persecution and discrimination against the Jews with the Holocaust. But is that really where Anti Semitism began? To clarify, Anti Semitism is the discrimination (unjust or prejudicial treatment) of Jews.  At the emergence of Christianity, conflicts began to rise between the two groups of people: those who associated as Christians and those who associated as Jews. The Roman empire under control at the time adopted the beliefs of Christianity and the conflict between the two religious groups intensified. Because Christianity was the religious culture of power, Refusal to submit to Christian beliefs initiated oppression against the Jewish people. Restrictions were placed on them such as who they could marry and what positions they could hold. This oppression carried into the Crusades, when attacks were placed on the Jews in an attempt to "free the Holy Land". As Christianity spread throughout Europe, the Jews became an easy target for any negative occurrence. An example of this was the Bubonic Plague. Europe blamed the Jews for the spreading of the Plague. Much can be said in relation to the history of Anti-Semitism. The discrimination against the race of Jews was inhuman. While researching this topic, I found the list went on and on. I haven't even began to describe all that occurred during the Holocaust. The discrimination of the Jews for the building up of another group of people was wrong and will forever be. 


Anti Semitism in the U.S.
Although the oppression and discrimination mentioned above has occurred outside of the United States, that does not mean the U.S. has been free of its Anti Semitic views. According to studies performed by the Pew Research Center, there are approximately 5.3 million Jews currently living in the United States. This makes up roughly 2.2% of the adult population, which has grown slowly over the last 10 years. 
Through research, one can find that the Anti-Semitic views and beliefs have decreased substantially in the U.S. Jews can get by in this country, living a free life with little disturbance. However, that does not mean that the prejudices have altogether disappeared. The Anti-Defamation League fights for the civil rights originally rooted in the defense of Jewish rights. They have done studies to measure the stereotypes and perceptions that are prevalent to Jews. The ADL has created a survey to analyze this. It is called the Anti-Semitic Index. Individuals who take the survey are told 11 statements and they must state whether they believe the statement to be true or false. These are the statements used in the Index:

Anti-Semitic Index:
 • Jews stick together more than other Americans.
 • Jews always like to be at the head of things.
 • Jews are more loyal to Israel than America.
 • Jews have too much power in the U.S. today.
 • Jews have too much control and influence on Wall Street.
 • Jews have too much power in the business world.
 • Jews have a lot of irritating faults.
 • Jews are more willing than others to use shady practices to get what they want.
 • Jewish business people are so shrewd that others don’t have a fair chance at competition.
 • Jews don’t care what happens to anyone but their own kind

With these studies, the ADL has found a decrease in Anti-Semitism, but still 12% of the nation hold onto stereotypes of the Jewish people: in regard to their drive for power, their loyalty to Israel, etc. Although some may consider Jewish individuals to be connected through religion, many people who claim to be Jewish do not practice the religious beliefs. It can be referred to as the "Jewish race". Therefore, these statements above would be evidences of passive racism. These statements don't necessarily signify a hate of Jewish individuals; however, they are considered as less according to the above statements. 

http://www.newsweek.com/anti-semitic-incidents-college-campuses-nearly-doubled-2015-adl-474394

"The good news is the number of anti-Semitic incidents overall are much lower than we witnessed in the mid-2000s. While that decrease is encouraging, it is troubling that on average there is one anti-Semitic assault reported in this country every week, and at least two anti-Jewish incidents on average every single day. These numbers do not even account for all of the online harassment we see every hour on social media, which is so widespread it is difficult to quantify" (Marvin D. Nathan- National Chairman for the Anti-Defamation League)

-For further more on Modern Anti-Semitism in the U.S., visit www.adl.org


The Role of Education
Although, I am not sure how to make the biggest difference in the classroom, I know that change starts with being informed. The Anti-Defamation League encourages the study of Anti-Semitism as it allows us to better understand prejudice and the repercussions that can occur (www.adl.org). As an instructor in the classroom, I desire to teach by inclusive pedagogy, informing my students on the history of Anti-Semitism and how to combat prejudice. It is easy to say that I will make my classroom free of bias and prejudice; however, the chance of oppression and discrimination being present exist. Therefore it is also my responsibility to stop any oppression I see right in its tracks. As an educator, I will have some form of influence on my students. I pray that it is for the better!


Sources

• https://www.ushmm.org/wlc/en/article.php?ModuleId=10007170
• https://www.adl.org/sites/default/files/documents/assets/pdf/education-outreach/Brief-History-on-Anti-Semitism-A.pdf
• http://www.zionist.org/2016/05/anti-semitism/(Image Retrieved from)
• https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/25/american-jews-anti-semitism_n_4159295.html
• http://www.newsweek.com/anti-semitic-incidents-college-campuses-nearly-doubled-2015-adl-474394
• https://www.jta.org/2014/02/18/news-opinion/united-states/anti-semitism-in-america-today-down-but-not-out
• https://www.adl.org/sites/default/files/documents/assets/pdf/press-center/adl-survey-attitudes-towards-jews-in-us-2013.pdf
• https://me.me/i/white-man-are-you-sick-and-tired-of-the-jews-14189475 (image)
• http://www.pbs.org/weta/washingtonweek/blog-post/jews-america-numbers (Pew Research Center Statistics)

Warhammer? Sorcerers? Nekrons? Oh my!!

More anxiety was felt with this experience than any other assignment I have had. Knowing the purpose was to get me into a situation where I was an outsider made me feel uncomfortable. I expressed frustration to my roommates before leaving my apartment. "Why do I have to do this? I don't purposefully make others feel uncomfortable or like they're a minority! Plus, I already served a mission where I was a minority. I don't need this!" I also must admit that there were some prejudices I had developed. Looking on the Facebook page, I had the preconceived bias that the individuals playing the game would have minimal to no social skills, they would treat me like I was an outsider, and they would fall into the category of "nerds". Understanding that this rationale would not change the task to be done, I strapped on my boots and walked out the door to attend the Warhammer Game Day.

What even is Warhammer? I found a Facebook page advertising for a game day so I made my way over to the store where it would be occurring. I walked in the store to discover it was a Hobby store. Model airplanes, craft paint, etc. were all  around. This was not what I had imagined. I tried to keep to myself, wandering up and down the isles creating a strategy as to how I could find this Warhammer game day by drawing the least attention to me. Overall, I had a feeling of obligation. In no way were my own desires carrying me to that location. I didn't want to do this, but I had to! Before the game even started, I already had sufficient thoughts and emotions to get a glimpse of what others may go through. I was able to participate in Warhammer Game Day. The event was very small and there were not enough players for me to join without being an inconvenience.  I sat on the side of the game, leaning on the table trying to observe how they were playing. Questions went through my mind of things I could not comprehend just from observation. However, fear of appearing dumb or being a nuisance kept me quiet. The Warhammer jargon was another language in itself. Sorcerers and Nekrons, moral checks and psychic lightning...I never have had experience with this before. I did not possess the cultural capital to fit in. I didn't understand the jargon of the game. It was a different language to me. As a result, I didn't know how to fit in. I was dressed up too nice and may have seen to stiff and proper to be in that environment. It was very clear I did not fit in with this culture. I was not discriminated against, nor was it their intention to make me stand out; however, this lack of cultural capital kept me from feeling comfortable. 

Although I could sit here and unload all of my new understanding of the Warhammer playing field, I would be missing the mark. The discomfort from this situation cleared my vision as to the situation of those coming into a classroom as the minority.   I had little desire at all to place myself in a situation as an "other". Of course, my situation wasn't a daily occurrence. Could I possibly imagine the situation of a student who goes to school every day thinking "I don't want to do this...but I have to." or "I'm not going to ask questions because I don't want to draw attention to myself"? Even though those who were at the Warhammer Game Day were welcoming and trying to help me interact, it still didn't take away my feelings of apprehension. How then would I construct the environment of my classroom to create a safe atmosphere for those who may be the minority? How could I help students develop culture capital? How could I develop in their culture capital? How should I interact with students who feel like outsiders? Can I really change anything? Although I do not know how to respond to these questions right now, they will be in circulation of my thoughts as I go forward in creating a healthy multicultural setting in my future classroom.

 

Personal Culture Artifacts

As I think about my culture, it is easy to see how different sub-cultures come together to. The college culture, work culture, family culture, etc, combine to determine how I interact within the social systems. In my preparation to become a teacher, I have begun to ponder how my personal experiences will add or take away from the social setting of my future classroom. Not everything from my culture will create a ripple effect in the school system; however, I was able to brainstorm some of the effects, both to the benefit and the hindrance of my future classroom.

Although my purpose as a teacher at the MTC is different from that of a school teacher, connections can be made. My desire to work alongside students has been fostered. Through experience, I have learned that working alongside is much more effective than giving a student all the answers. In my classroom, the culture will be one of discovery. This is to help in the process of understanding and learning. I'm not sure how to incorporate my culture of learning in regards to my perspectives on grades (refer to note below under A+), neither do I know whether it would be beneficial to my students or not. However, I plan to study and understand whether this would be effective for students and the cultures they come from.

I have incorporated in my culture the need for seclusion or alone time. I have become dependent on "silent time" for the processing of thoughts. If I maintain this idea or belief that I can only focus in moments of silence, I will not be effective at thinking on the spot during class time. I can almost guarantee that there will not be many moments (if any at all) of silence in the class time. I can work on coping strategies and accustom to settings similar to those of a classroom to avoid becoming a hindrance to the culture of the classroom. My ability to do this will also give me the correct perspective to work with children who have different habits and needs for their culture of learning.

Bicycle- As a representation of my transportation, a bicycle is my way of navigating the roads of the city. By seeing my bicycle, others on the road know how to respond. I wait to cross at the appropriate times and follow the lines on the street indicating where I can be. I have realized that Provo is busier than my home town. As a result, riding a bike in Provo requires me to be familiar with a language communicated through hand signals. By riding my bike, others can assume that I know the signaling necessary to communicate where I am going. (https://www.statebicycle.com/products/matte-black-6)

A+ - This grade represents not only my responsibilities as a student, but also my desire to go against the social norm of fighting for an "A". From my perception, many students fight for the A and sacrifice true learning as a result. I have been one of those students. However, my perspective has changed through conversations with college professors. Now my educational culture is one of learning instead of good grades. The students in the BYU culture have created the idea that grades are factors that determine whether you are a good student or not. By not achieving the best grades, in this case an A, you may feel you are not good enough to be here or that others will think less of you. This is because of the BYU culture. I feel I am expected to maintain high "A" grades.  (Image retrieved from (http://w4wn.com/want-an-a-2013-health-report-be-the-1st-on-the-1st-to-get-started/)


Book - How to Win Friends and Influence People is a book I read which taught me the importance of focusing on others. Specifically, I learned from this book how to make others feel important. I expound on the principles taught as I learn others names and make it a goal to say hi to all I meet. Whether it's an individual I pass on my way to class or someone next to me in the grocery store check-out line, I have the opportunity to interact with many people and they have the right to feel important.  (Image retrieved https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4865.How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People ) 

Round Table - In my religious culture, I participate in weekly counsels. These counsels are focused on helping individuals in our religious community. Ideas are discussed of how to be more effective in our duties which in turn will impact those within the LDS culture. I am expected to attend weekly meetings and must be informed on the language such as "calling", "Relief Society" "Elder's Quorum". As a ward counsel we also help establish and maintain the culture for our ward. (Image retrieved from http://hfmahudsonvalleyny.org/event/series-revenue-cycle-roundtable/)

Stop Light - This represents the value of an individual in the community. On the corner of my street, a stoplight was recently put up. Many ideas have been presented as the reasoning behind the stoplight, one of them being the desire to protect pedestrians. Accidents have occurred at this intersection. As a pedestrian, my life along with those in my community is valued and efforts are made to protect citizens. I abide by the laws and follow the signals which tell me how I should act in relation to cars. Image retrieved from https://www.pinterest.com/picpng/traffic-light/?lp=true)

FaceTime - Although I am many miles from my family, technology allows me to stay connected with the culture of my home. Weekly, I make FaceTime calls to my family. I enjoy sharing about my experiences, my beliefs and my social interactions with them. 
As a daughter, I feel the need to include my parents in my life even though distance separates us. This bridges the gap of physical distance and allows the strengthening of family relations. Forgetting to FaceTime my parents one week may send the signal to my family that something was wrong. (Image retrieved from •http://www.cbronline.com/what-is/what-is-facetime-4929369/)


Dinner Date Table - As a single individual, I am given the opportunity to branch out among others in the community through dating. On dates, I understand that I am allowing another individual to get a glimpse of my culture. By going on a date, my date and I should both be aware of social boundaries as to what is acceptable: for example, it is expected that physical touch on the first dates is kept to a minimum.  I open up and give others the opportunity to understand a little of my culture and my process to get to where I currently am. I also have the opportunity to understand the social systems within which my date participates (Image retrieved from http://blog.pof.com/2014/11/always-pay-dinner-date/)

Preach My Gospel - I work at the MTC as a teacher, preparing missionaries to go to places all over the world. Through teachings and principles learned in the religious community, I discover with the missionaries how they can be most effective in sharing our religious culture with different cultures all around the world. Not only am I familiar with the language of the LDS culture, I am also required to understand this language in Portuguese.  If you are a teacher, it means you have served a mission for your church and have gained experiences in helping others learn the culture of the LDS faith.  (Image retrieved from https://deseretbook.com/p/preach-my-gospel-guide-missionary-service-spiral-bound-lds-distribution-center-6578?variant_id=102867-paperback)

Planner - In my planner are written my daily responsibilities: responsibilities to myself, my teachers, my community, and my friends. This planner helps me to be prepared to be in the right place at the right time through key words or phrases that will remind me of where I need to be, when I need to be there, and what I need to be doing.  Failure to do so may result in complications not only for me, but for those around me or to whom I have responsibility. . (Image retrieved from https://inkandvolt.com/product/volt-planner/)

CTR ring - I have made promises to uphold religious principles and values. This ring reminds me to keep those promises, whether it be in actions or thoughts. Those in this religious culture understand that a CTR ring stands for "Choose the Right". We feel responsible because of promises we have made to avoid bad consequences by choosing a better choice. This ring is a reminder. My actions affect those around me. Therefore, I must not only think to protect myself spiritually, but protect those around me as well. (Image retrieved from https://ldsbookstore.com/ctr-rings)

Manners Quote - Taught in my home was the importance of manners. With my daily participation in the community, this culture or respect developed in my home is instilled in the culture of society. I need to understand situations that are appropriate to use these manners so as not to let the feeling of kindess/gratitude/respect be diminished.  (Image retrieved from http://www.inspiremykids.com/2017/great-quotes-for-kids-about-good-manners-for-kids/).

"No Talking" sign -  Within the day, I need time to draw back and seclude myself. No roommates, no friends, no distractions. I need the time to think and focus on important decisions, school assignments,  and ideas for further personal progression. I withdraw temporarily from the social systems. Though I would consider this a personal culture, my roommates and close friends would understand when it is appropriate to converse with me and when I need my own space. Body language is a greater communicator, so one must understand my body language to tell when I needed my own quiet time. (Image retrieved from https://cliparts.zone/talking-back-cliparts).

Running Number Bib - Activities or events are put on by the community to increase social interactions and provide means for much good to be done. As a runner, I enjoy participating in the races put on within the community. Although little social interaction occurs during the race, I support the community in its effort to be a benefactor (Image retrieved from https://muchmoremuchier.com/2011/03/12/my-first-5k/).

Gardening - With spare time, I participate in local service projects. They may not be as regular as I desire, but they provide me with the opportunity to branch out and reach others in the community who are in need. By volunteering my time, I am seen as a kind soul. Those also participating in service activities generally have pure motives as well to have more unity and care between one another. This brings smiles to service activities. It would be abnormal for someone to be angry and frowning while serving someone else. (Image retrieved from http://destroybmx.com/gardening.html

Frisbee Game - I participate in intramural sports. These games allow me to apply teamwork skills and also give me the opportunity to participate in community activities. I know the rules of the game and act in sportsmanship. I am viewed as "athletic" by friends to whom I tell I play frisbee. They assume I am a fast runner, even though this may not be accurate. I have picked up on terms such as "cut ",  "pull", and "handler" to know how to interact with teammates while playing.  (Image retrieved from https://www.pinterest.com/greene4ever/ultimate-frisbee/?lp=true).

Sidewalk Chalk - As a nanny/babysitter, I enter the home environment of a family. I am given the responsibility to act according to the culture of the family to maintain comfort for the children I take care of. Parents entrust me with their children which requires a higher level of maturity on my part. When I am interacting with the children, I must act with exaggerations, implementing my imagination in the activities I create for them. 
 (Image retrieved from http://ourbeautifullymessyhouse.blogspot.com/2015/06/homemade-sidewalk-chalk.html).

Boy and Girl Kissing - Similar to my image of the dinner date, this represents my beliefs  and comfort as a heterosexual individual. I search for opportunities to get to know males, which is an important part of the current stage of life I find myself in. Also, this puts me in the majority group for sexual orientation. I am accepted and am never forced to feel ashamed because of this orientation.  I also am included because of common religious belief being that Utah is predominately LDS. In the LDS culture, it is difficult for individuals to accept or agree with individuals who are not heterosexual. (Image retrieved from http://www.lovesove.com/tag/girl-kissing-boy-on-cheeks-wallpapers/).

Board Game - As a family, we have found that unity is created within our culture through time spent together. Board games is a common activity used to create these social interactions within the family. I have come to learn the strategies of interacting with my family in order to prevent arguments. For example, I know not to point out when my sister has lost a turn or to get too excited when I get something I need because this would only cause jealousy from my brother. I must be a peacemaker. (Image Retrieved from https://www.pexels.com/search/board%20game/).

Cookies - Not only do I need to understand how to read a recipe, It is also accepted that cookies are a great sign of love and care. This may not be understood if someone was not of this culture. As a sister, friend, daughter, I can express love and gratitude by baking treats for those around me. (Image Retrieved from https://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/ultimate-chocolate-chip-cookies/77c14e03-d8b0-4844-846d-f19304f61c57)



I have realized that these cultural artifacts connect me to a variety of cultures. Before writing out my artifacts, I said that I need to be aware of my culture so I don't become a hindrance in the classroom. However, I am not beginning to see the need to understand the artifacts that are leading my students to act, belief, or think in certain ways. By understanding their artifacts, I feel I will have a greater understanding behind their actions which can lead to patience in helping them learn and progress in the classroom. This will help me avoid seeing students as a deficit.